Chances

After Zoey left for the night, I walked back into the house and sat down on the couch and took my shoes off, putting them at the end of the couch that I had been crashing on. I checked the time, wondering if I could go to sleep without anyone else popping in and out of the room to bother me. It was only nine-thirty, so I quickly gave up on that idea, instead picking up the remote for the T.V. and turning it on. After thirty minutes of terrible television, I turn the T.V. off and throw the remote onto another couch and get up, hunting for something else to do to keep my mind off of Zoey and Paulie together. I quickly give up on that and crash back onto the couch and lie down, deciding to just try and sleep through whatever noises pop up. I sleep for about twenty minutes before someone starts poking and prodding me. I rolled onto my side and looked up to see Ash.

"Why are you watching me sleep?" I asked, slightly creeped out.

"Don't flatter yourself," she responds, picking my legs up and throwing them off of the couch so she can sit down. "What's up? Why are you trying to go to sleep at nine forty?"

"I talked to Zoey. Asked her if she was happy, and she said she was."
"And?" She asked, leaning closer to me.

"And I'm just gonna try and be happy for her, I guess." I said, propping my feet up onto the table.
"I'm sorry. I really am," she said, putting her hand on my back. "I know that he's an asshole, but if she's happy, what're you going to do? It sucks, yeah, but that's life."
"Yeah, I know." I said, putting my head in my hands, rubbing my eyes. "Fuckin' figures," I muttered under my breath, pulling my feet off of the table.

"I know that you really don't want to anymore, but you really should quit smoking. It'd make all of us happy. Hell, I'd be happy if you cut back." Ash said, patting my back before getting up and walking back to the Isaac's bedroom. I stretched back onto the couch, looking at all the posters that were plastered on the walls. I reached into my pockets to pull everything out of them and tossed them onto the table, and reached over to pick up my phone to check for any messages before going to sleep.

I woke up to the vacuum running, and sat up on the couch, and rubbed my eyes, trying to see who was cleaning. I got up and folded the blanket I'd been using up and threw it onto the couch and stumbled to the bathroom to take a shower. After getting out of the shower, I saw Jared sitting on the couch, the vacuum sitting in a corner.

"Morning," he said over the noise of the T.V.. "Sorry about the noise, but I needed to vacuum."
"It's cool," I said, sitting down on the couch. "I didn't know you had today off."

"Yeah, I forgot to mention it yesterday. It's nice to be able to just chill for a day." He said, picking up the controller and turning on our X-Box. "How you doing, dude?"
"Been better." I said, pulling a cigarette out of the pack. "Found out that Zoey's already dating some asshole."
"Harsh," he replied. "Do you know which asshole she's dating?" I picked up my lighter off of the table and got up to go outside to have my first smoke of the day.

"Paulie," I said, lighting the cigarette in the kitchen.
"Wait, Paulie Talbot?" I heard him ask from inside.

"Yeah," I replied, sitting down on the top step of the cement stairs. For a guy that's had multiple leg surgeries, Jared moves incredibly fast.

"She's dating Paulie fucking Talbot?!" He screamed at me, scaring me to death.

"From what I heard from Ash, yeah." I manage to finally say.

"Paulie 'I nearly made my ex-girlfriend kill themselves and five minutes later was in bed with another girl' Talbot?"

"Yup." I said, the bitterness surprising even me. I took a long drag off of the cigarette and looked at Jared, who was literally shaking with what I assumed was rage. "Ummm... You okay?" I asked.

"That is NOT okay," he said.

"Yeah, no shit." I replied, finishing the cigarette off and tossing the butt into an ashtray.

"How in the hell did that happen?" He asked after a moment silence. "How did that prick get someone like that?"
"What in the hell do you think I've been trying to figure out?" I asked, laughing.

"You need to do something!" He yelled.

"What do you want me to do about this?" I asked, getting up to get another cigarette. "I'm not going to talk to Paulie, last time I ever saw him I got hurt! It's a sign from God not to be near this prick." I said, walking back inside.

"And how do you think this is going to end for her?" He yelled back, running into the house. "The last time that person was in a long term relationship, you know how it ended!"

He was right. Paulie Talbot was the biggest asshole I had ever met. He was violent, crude, and thought he was God's greatest gift to man. If he ever said that he was in a relationship, it meant that he was only screwing one girl. The man didn't want relationships, he just wanted an unlimited amount of booty calls. He claimed he fell in love once, but three weeks into the relationship, he was already cheating on the girl, Lisa. But that wasn't enough for Paulie, he wanted to set a record. So in the time that he had 'fallen in love', he was cheating on Lisa, while at the same time screwing five other girls. This guy, in my opinion, was trash. Lisa, after discovering what he was doing, attempted to kill herself by an overdose. Thankfully, someone found her in time to help. I don't know how this asshole still had friends.

"Well, what the hell can I do?" I asked, sitting down on the couch.

"Do something really romantic to show that she deserves a nice guy!" Jared said back, getting excited.

"What, pull a Cusack?" I asked, laughing. Just to clear up, this laugh isn't a ha-ha laugh, it's a laugh of desperation and exacerbation.

"Ummm... Something like that, yeah!" He said back, starting to pace around.

"Look, Jared, I appreciate this, but I don't think there's anything I can do! You know me, I'm not that kind of guy," I said. "That and Paulie would fucking kill me. Last time I heard, he had just bought a machete for some goddamn reason!"
"Is this the kind of girl that you'd be willing to be killed with a machete for?" Jared asked, stopping and looking at me.
"Yes." I said immediately. Jared just leaned on the wall and grinned at me.

"You're willing to risk getting cut into tiny bits and pieces by that piece of human trash for her?"
"Yes." I said again, standing up, my mind made up. I grabbed my wallet and keys off of the table and sprinted out of the apartment.

Zoey lives in a gated community, a plus from her parent's lucrative jobs. Since it was three o'clock in the afternoon, everyone was either in school or at work, so no cars were coming in or out. So I did what anyone would do in this situation: I climbed the fence, and promptly proceeded in falling on my ass on the way down. Not letting my hurt bottom stop me, I got up and ran down the street towards her house. I saw her white Ford parked in the driveway, and after a few deep breathes and a small prep talk, I walked to her front door and knocked. She opened the door before I knocked again.

"Hey," she said, smiling. "This is a pleasant surprise." Knowing that I'd loss steam or chicken out if I said anything else first, I blurted it out without thinking.

"Zoey, I love you."

Lies

I sat on the porch, staring out into space, attempting to not believe what I just heard. I looked at the pack of cigarettes on the ground, considering the pros and cons of starting again.

"You're kidding, right? This is some cruel joke you're pulling on me?" I asked.

"What? Why the hell would I do that? The last time I heard was that she was dating Paulie," she said, stubbing the cigarette out on her her heel before getting up and heading back inside. When she opened the door, I heard laughter, and caught the end of an anecdote from Zoey, which confirmed it. I stood up, and closed the door gently, not wanting anyone to look towards the door. Paulie, who was worse then Kyle when it came to women, was dating Zoey, a Czech girl that I was in love with. I sat for silence in three minutes before my phone rang.

"What?" I answered, not even checking the caller id.

"Okay, why in the hell won't you go to the club with us?" Kyle yelled, slurring over his words.

"Okay, why in the hell are you drinking?" I shot back, choosing to take it all out on Kyle.

"Bitch, don't start preaching to me! It's a Saturday night, and I am entitled to enjoy it however I want!"

"Just because it's Saturday doesn't mean that you can get wasted and fuck!" I yelled into my phone loudly.

"The hell it doesn't! I worked all week, what did you do?" He yelled back, matching my anger. "You have a hard week of sitting on your ass?"

"Fuck you!" I screamed into my phone.

"Hey, I'm going to call back in five minutes, and you better have your shit together when I do." He said, waiting to hang up the phone so I could hear this in the background: 'I don't know, he's just being a whiny bitch about something, I'll call him back later.'

By the time that I had shoved my phone into my pocket, someone from the next apartment popped their head out of their window.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry," I muttered, looking down.

"It's cool dude. Everyone has bad days," he said, before disappearing back into his apartment. In order to seem productive, I grabbed the trash bag off of the porch and walked down the cement stairs and around the corner to the dumpster. I walked slowly back up the stairs, still calming down. By the time I got back up the stairs, Ash was sitting outside, smoking another cigarette. She held the pack out and I took one, shoving it into my mouth. I sat down on the top step, trying to avoid eye contact with her. We smoked the cigarettes in silence, and I didn't even notice when she walked back inside, leaving her pack next to me. I smoked the entire pack in about five minutes (Kyle had obviously decided not to call back) and ripped the pack up into tiny pieces. I stood up and walked back inside. Ash was the only sitting in the kitchen, washing the dishes. I sat down at the table.

"They went down the street to get dessert for everyone. They'll be back in five minutes." She said. "You okay? Christ, I didn't expect you to react like that."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied, picking up a magazine off of the ground and tossing it back on the table.

"Of course you're fine, that's why you're screaming at your phone." She said, turning the sink off.

"That was directed at another asshole," I said, getting up to help her dry the dishes.

"You've only known her for how long? A few weeks?" She said, handing me towel and a plate.

"It's not that, I'm used to being that one friend. It's who's she's dating," I said. "Paulie is a terrible, terrible person."

"Who you hang out with."

"I've only ever been around him when necessary or when Kyle brings him around. I don't do it for fun." I corrected her.

"Okay, I'm not denying that he's an asshole. I'm just saying that maybe he's nice to her," she said.

"Bullshit!" I yelled, shoving the plate into the cupboard.

"Hey, I don't care if you're pissed, but don't take your anger out on the plates!" She yelled.

"Sorry," I muttered, throwing the towel down, walking to the living room. "I'm getting a pack of smokes."

"Giving up on quitting?"

"Don't see the point now."

I took the backstairs out of the apartment to avoid bumping into everyone, and was halfway to the gas station when my phone rang. I fished it out of my pocket and looked at the caller id.

"What?" I said bitterly into the phone.

"Dude, have you calmed down yet?" Kyle asked, still slurring his words.

"If I say no, are you going to insult me and hang up again?"

"Well, if you weren't being such an asshole--"
"How was I being an asshole?" I said, cutting him off.

"You were all yelling at me!" He yelled back.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I should be more considerate when talking to drunk, belligerent assholes. My bad." I said. "I'm not going to that stupid club, so don't call me again to ask." I hung up the phone and walked to the gas station and back to the apartment in silence, attempting to enjoy the breeze and my smoke. I walked up the backstairs and sat down on the top step. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and got ready to pull the battery out when a voice spoke up from behind me.

"I thought you were quitting," Zoey asked from behind me. I jumped a little, and the cigarette fell out of my mouth.

"Jesus Christ, you scared me!" I yelled, turning around to look at her.

"Oh, sorry," she said, smiling at me. I crushed the cigarette beneath my heel.

"Yeah, I'm still working on quitting," I said, suddenly feeling guilty.

"Well, if you need or want any help quitting, you can always ask me." She said.

"Umm... Yeah, of course," I said. After a minute of silence, I broke the silence. "Hey, are you happy right now?"
"Happy with what?" She asked, confused.

"Just happy with the way your life is." I clarified. She was quiet for a minute, thinking about the question. After a while, she answered.

"I think I am, yeah." She smiled at me, her eyes lighting up with the smile. I somehow managed to hide how much I wanted to scream and smiled back at her. "How about you?" She asked, leaning closer to me. "Are you happy with the way your life is, right now?" She was so close to me, that I could smell her perfume, and could feel her breathing close to my neck. I fought back the urge to blurt out I love you and just smiled.

"Yeah, I'm happy." I lied.

Fall

It took another three weeks for my back to feel like I could move without it going out again. By the time I was up and walking again, fall had started. My summer had ended terribly, and Kyle was already calling me again, trying to get me to go out. Most of his calls always happened when I was trying to sleep, so I wouldn't call him back, hoping that he would either realize that I wouldn't be up at nine in the morning, or he would realize that I was pissed off at him for the back injuries (which I was blaming him for). When I did ever pick up the phone when he called me, the conversations would be about him being bored, or someone that he was trying to hook with this girl and needed my help. The only good thing about my situation was that I met Zoey, a friend of Jared's roommate. She was everything I could want in someone, and she was from the Czech Republic, which added a layer of mystery to her that I fell in love with. She was always over at the apartment (she could cook amazing food, which was a plus in a group of young males that were used to eating Top Ramen or Rice-a-Roni for lunch and dinner), and the two of us became good friends. Since it was a small apartment, I would eat outside on the porch (Jared had an apartment on the second story, so I always had a nice view of suburbia when I ate and smoked) to save room at their dinner table for them. I would hear them talk about their day, and I would pop in occasionally to say something or get something to drink before disappearing outside to finish my dinner.

"Why do you always eat outside?" Zoey asked me one night. She spoke with a light accent, which we all loved.

"To make sure there's enough room at the table for the important people of the apartment," I replied, putting my plate down on the ground and pulling out a cigarette.

"And to smoke?" She asked, smiling.

"Yeah, and to smoke," I said, lighting the cigarette. "I do enjoy smoking," I said.

"How much do you smoke?"

"Depends. Bad day, three packs a day. Good day, two." I said. "It sounds really terrible when you say it like that," I said.

"Well, it's a terrible habit," she said, picking up my plate and glass.

"Yeah, it is." I agreed.

"I think you should quit," she said, walking back in the apartment to do the dishes. I looked at the cigarette in my fingers, took one last drag off of it and stubbed it out and headed back inside.

I was still trying to ignore Kyle calls due to fear of my back going out again, but after a while, I caved. He called while I was cleaning up the apartment while everyone was at work, so I decided to talk to him and take a break and relax.

"Dude, how the hell have you been?" He asked.

"Recovering. How've you been?"

"Pretty fuckin' good, dude. Me and Stacey hooked up."

"Ummm... Good for you?" I hated it when he told me things like that, I never knew how to respond.

"It was pretty good dude, I'm not gonna lie," he said, sounding too proud of himself.

"Well, have fun with her?" I ventured.

"Oh, I will. We're going to this club tomorrow night, you should come!"
"No," I said firmly. "I don't do clubs or things like that."
"What? Why not?" He asked.

"I don't like crowds, I hate music they play at those shitty clubs, and if you're taking her to the one I'm thinking of, the people are fucking weird!"

"C'mon, please? I need a wingman! I could help hook you up with someone!"

"Find a different wingman!" I yelled back.

"Dude, I'm driving right now, but I'm gonna call back later and talk about this," he said.

I hung up the phone and tossed it onto the couch. The club in question was one that was a half hour drive into a different city. It was popular with the people in my age group due to the fact that you only had to be eighteen to get in. In a brilliant marketing move, the owners of the club would throw a night to celebrate goth\emo culture. What that meant was that they would play even shittier music, while people got to wear strange outfits. To some people, it was awesome, and that was okay. I, however, was not one of those people. Kyle wasn't either, but the man was dedicated to hooking up with as many women as possible, and if that meant doing something he didn't like, he would do it. In a force of habit, I looked for a pack of cigarettes, then realized that I was quitting. So I just turned on the T.V. and played a game to take my mind off of the fact that I was going to have to deal with a constant stream of pleading for me to go.

Jared got off of work first, and got home around four in the afternoon. I nodded at him, trying to focus on the game I was playing. He disappeared into his bedroom and changed, then popped back into the living room and sprawled out onto the other couch.

"Thanks for cleaning, dude." He said, pulling his laptop onto his chest and turning it on.

"Yup," I said, before going into a string of profanities as I got shot to death in my game.

"You do anything else today aside from clean?"
"I walked down to the store and bought some more food. I got stuff that Zoey can cook with, and got stuff we can just throw in the oven and stuff. There's also a milkshake in the fridge for you, and I got some more potatoes." I said, throwing the controller down, deciding not to play the game anymore.

"Sweet," he said. "Trade you." I reached over and handed him the controller and he gave me the laptop.

"What's the plan for tonight?" I asked.

"Uhhh... Zoey called, she's coming over in a bit, she's gonna cook, then Isaac is getting off of work early, and Ash is probably going to swing by for dinner too."

"Okay," I said.

"What do you think of Zoey?" Jared asked, after a minute of silence.

"She's nice. I like her," I said. "Like, I really like her."

"Go for it, dude. You two seem made for each other," he said before screaming at the game.

I shrugged and put the laptop down, and pulled my phone out of the couch. I looked at the messages and saw that I already had three from Kyle, all asking me if I had reconsidered the club offer. I deleted them, shoved the phone into my pocket, and got up to change. I threw my clothes in the large garbage bag that we used to take the clothes to the laundromat, and looked out to Jared.

"You want me to do laundry tomorrow?" I asked. "I only got three bucks on me right now."
"Yeah, if you could that'd be nice. I'll throw in a few bucks, and so will Isaac. Thanks, dude."
"Yup," I said, planting myself back onto the couch. "What time is Zoey coming over?"
"Soon, she just texted to say she was on her way."

Five minutes later, we heard footsteps come up the stairs and a knock on the door. I walked over to the door and opened it. She walked in, heading straight for the kitchen, and I closed and locked the door. We sat and talked, and soon Isaac and Ash were over. We ate, and while Zoey made dessert, I sat outside with Ash while she smoked.

"You want one?" She asked, holding the pack up to me.

"I quit," I said, stretching out on the patio furniture.

"Well, good for you," she said, sitting down. "Any reason why?"
"Zoey said I should, so I did."
"Cute," she said. "You know, you too would make a great couple."
"That's what Jared was saying," I said, looking at my phone.

"Too bad she's already in a relationship," she said, taking a long drag off of the cigarette.

"What? With who?" I asked.

"Ummm... Last time I heard, Paulie. Friend of Kyle." She said.

If the person you think is the love of your life isn't dating the biggest asshole in the world, you wouldn't understand.