Lies

I sat on the porch, staring out into space, attempting to not believe what I just heard. I looked at the pack of cigarettes on the ground, considering the pros and cons of starting again.

"You're kidding, right? This is some cruel joke you're pulling on me?" I asked.

"What? Why the hell would I do that? The last time I heard was that she was dating Paulie," she said, stubbing the cigarette out on her her heel before getting up and heading back inside. When she opened the door, I heard laughter, and caught the end of an anecdote from Zoey, which confirmed it. I stood up, and closed the door gently, not wanting anyone to look towards the door. Paulie, who was worse then Kyle when it came to women, was dating Zoey, a Czech girl that I was in love with. I sat for silence in three minutes before my phone rang.

"What?" I answered, not even checking the caller id.

"Okay, why in the hell won't you go to the club with us?" Kyle yelled, slurring over his words.

"Okay, why in the hell are you drinking?" I shot back, choosing to take it all out on Kyle.

"Bitch, don't start preaching to me! It's a Saturday night, and I am entitled to enjoy it however I want!"

"Just because it's Saturday doesn't mean that you can get wasted and fuck!" I yelled into my phone loudly.

"The hell it doesn't! I worked all week, what did you do?" He yelled back, matching my anger. "You have a hard week of sitting on your ass?"

"Fuck you!" I screamed into my phone.

"Hey, I'm going to call back in five minutes, and you better have your shit together when I do." He said, waiting to hang up the phone so I could hear this in the background: 'I don't know, he's just being a whiny bitch about something, I'll call him back later.'

By the time that I had shoved my phone into my pocket, someone from the next apartment popped their head out of their window.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry," I muttered, looking down.

"It's cool dude. Everyone has bad days," he said, before disappearing back into his apartment. In order to seem productive, I grabbed the trash bag off of the porch and walked down the cement stairs and around the corner to the dumpster. I walked slowly back up the stairs, still calming down. By the time I got back up the stairs, Ash was sitting outside, smoking another cigarette. She held the pack out and I took one, shoving it into my mouth. I sat down on the top step, trying to avoid eye contact with her. We smoked the cigarettes in silence, and I didn't even notice when she walked back inside, leaving her pack next to me. I smoked the entire pack in about five minutes (Kyle had obviously decided not to call back) and ripped the pack up into tiny pieces. I stood up and walked back inside. Ash was the only sitting in the kitchen, washing the dishes. I sat down at the table.

"They went down the street to get dessert for everyone. They'll be back in five minutes." She said. "You okay? Christ, I didn't expect you to react like that."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied, picking up a magazine off of the ground and tossing it back on the table.

"Of course you're fine, that's why you're screaming at your phone." She said, turning the sink off.

"That was directed at another asshole," I said, getting up to help her dry the dishes.

"You've only known her for how long? A few weeks?" She said, handing me towel and a plate.

"It's not that, I'm used to being that one friend. It's who's she's dating," I said. "Paulie is a terrible, terrible person."

"Who you hang out with."

"I've only ever been around him when necessary or when Kyle brings him around. I don't do it for fun." I corrected her.

"Okay, I'm not denying that he's an asshole. I'm just saying that maybe he's nice to her," she said.

"Bullshit!" I yelled, shoving the plate into the cupboard.

"Hey, I don't care if you're pissed, but don't take your anger out on the plates!" She yelled.

"Sorry," I muttered, throwing the towel down, walking to the living room. "I'm getting a pack of smokes."

"Giving up on quitting?"

"Don't see the point now."

I took the backstairs out of the apartment to avoid bumping into everyone, and was halfway to the gas station when my phone rang. I fished it out of my pocket and looked at the caller id.

"What?" I said bitterly into the phone.

"Dude, have you calmed down yet?" Kyle asked, still slurring his words.

"If I say no, are you going to insult me and hang up again?"

"Well, if you weren't being such an asshole--"
"How was I being an asshole?" I said, cutting him off.

"You were all yelling at me!" He yelled back.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I should be more considerate when talking to drunk, belligerent assholes. My bad." I said. "I'm not going to that stupid club, so don't call me again to ask." I hung up the phone and walked to the gas station and back to the apartment in silence, attempting to enjoy the breeze and my smoke. I walked up the backstairs and sat down on the top step. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and got ready to pull the battery out when a voice spoke up from behind me.

"I thought you were quitting," Zoey asked from behind me. I jumped a little, and the cigarette fell out of my mouth.

"Jesus Christ, you scared me!" I yelled, turning around to look at her.

"Oh, sorry," she said, smiling at me. I crushed the cigarette beneath my heel.

"Yeah, I'm still working on quitting," I said, suddenly feeling guilty.

"Well, if you need or want any help quitting, you can always ask me." She said.

"Umm... Yeah, of course," I said. After a minute of silence, I broke the silence. "Hey, are you happy right now?"
"Happy with what?" She asked, confused.

"Just happy with the way your life is." I clarified. She was quiet for a minute, thinking about the question. After a while, she answered.

"I think I am, yeah." She smiled at me, her eyes lighting up with the smile. I somehow managed to hide how much I wanted to scream and smiled back at her. "How about you?" She asked, leaning closer to me. "Are you happy with the way your life is, right now?" She was so close to me, that I could smell her perfume, and could feel her breathing close to my neck. I fought back the urge to blurt out I love you and just smiled.

"Yeah, I'm happy." I lied.